Portrait of Pain
by Raven of Alaska
Summary: They locked me up. Experimented on me. Made my life a living hell." You know the story from the perspective of Point Man, but what about Alma? Her story, her life. Her pain. Inspired by Kjolen's pic, Smiling Alma. Link in profile. Ending is AU.


**Disclaimer: I don't own F.E.A.R. Or the pic. That belongs to Kjolen. There is a link on my profile. Second picture. Wonderful artist. I did this as an essay for English Composistion 101. I only own Ryan and Akelis. Note, this is AU. **

A woman stares at you, her ruby red eye piercing your soul. You don't know this raven-haired maiden, her past, her family, or why she's smiling. All you can tell is that her face infers peace, a calmness about her. Who is she? That, dear reader, is why I'm here. I know her story better than anyone. You see, I am that woman. This is my tale. Not for the faint of heart, those prone to loose their lunch over graphic details. For I have lived a tortured life, which can easily be described as a living hell.

It started in the 1970's, when a woman named Akelis Wade gave birth to me. After much much debate with my dad, Harlan Wade, they decided to name me Alma. I cried often, as most babies do. I was considered normal until my third birthday. That's when the nightmares started. Horrible hallucinations, vengeful ghosts, cruel demons, creatures of darkness, and other such monstrosities. I inadvertently killed my mother by setting her on fire, her screams echoing through our house, filling every inch with dread. When my dad got home, all that remained was a charred, smoking, bloodied corpse that reeked like brimstone.

Nobody could provide an explanation. It was as if my mother was a human candle, and an unknown culprit was the match. My horrific life continued. At age 7 I was induced into the Origin Project, secretly carried out by Armcham Technology Corporations. There, scientists concluded that my nightmares were due to the fact I was psychic. It was also discovered that I received waves of negative emotions from everyone around me. Just two days before my eighth birthday, I was cruelly locked inside the Vault, away from light, from fresh air, from the comforting arms of my father. Only later did I find out that it was he who gave the orders for my imprisonment. They put me into a coma, and experimented on me. I was, in every sense of the word, a lab rat. Needles pierced my skin, digging holes in my body, leaving scars in places I'd rather not mention.

For seven long, hellish, dark years I was hidden from the world. Whey they woke me, I thought they were done. It was not so. I was introduced to a young man. Ryan, his name was Ryan. He was Hercules reborn. Cool, teal blue eyes, dark, chocolate brown hair flowing like a river, a face that looked like it was carved by angels. There was an air of love around him. My father told me that my hand was to be given to his in holy matrimony. I smiled, and a tear of joy fell from my face. Before my fifteenth birthday, I was married. On my fifteenth birthday, my troubles began. I became pregnant, which is what my father and the other scientists wanted. All part of their experiment. When Ryan learned they were going to lock me up again and take away our baby, he grew furious. Guards subdued him, and he was locked away. The only man I had ever loved, gone. Nine months later, _they_ induced labor.

I screamed, praying that the pain would end soon. My father kept telling me to push and breathe. One last scream escaped my lips, forcing some of the doctors to cover their ears. In that instant, the pain vanished. Someone shouted 'It's a boy!' Though my strength had been sapped from my fragile body, I was able to lift myself up in time to see my father taking my baby away. "What are you doing?" I screamed, "Give me back my baby!!!" A shrill cried from the little bundle in my father's arms.

Looking down at his grandson, my father says, "you will be a god among men." I scream 'no!' in a violent protest, then a razor sharp needle pierces my skin, and my world falls into night. Of what happened next, I'm not sure. All that I know was they put me into the Vault. For how long I was kept this time I do not know. Months, years? Did it really matter? In my coma of nightmares, I waited for Death, but he never came. Pain racked my body as if my insides burned with lava, and a thousand babies were popping out of me. My head felt as if it had cracked open, and in the corner of darkness, totally despair reigned. I tried to scream, but the only sound I could hear was the cry of my baby, my son, my firstborn. Ryan appeared before me, always just out of reach. The time we had spent together, in love, cuddled in each other's arms, the soft press of lips against lips, I could see it all, and it tortured me.

When next I woke, someone grabbed me and I was guided to a room with a single bed. Ryan entered, scarred, bloody, his face looking as if a thousand Spartan warriors had thrust their spears at him, only to cut his face, leaving streams of blood in their anger. I grabbed him and kissed him, our lips locking passionately. We both know what they want. I want to refuse, for if Ryan and I are separated again, it will surely kill me. Ryan states that if we don't, they'll kill us both and our son. We comply with their wishes, knowing full well that we'll be separated in the end. Tears stream our faces, and we savor every moment. I got pregnant again, same routine.

Sometime later, they pulled the plug on Origin, and I "died" four days later. Those fools! I merely stopped my heart so much that it appeared that I was dead. For the next time I awoke, I would take my bloody revenge. They would die, all of them. They are all guilty of ruining my life, espically my father. Slowly, I reentered the world of my nightmares, except this time, I controlled them. No longer would I be controlled by my fears, no, I would control them.

The Vault was opened, and I awoke with the fury of a thousand storms. I killed the team they sent in. The rescue team face the same horrible, bloody fate. Their screams of pain and mercy were music to my ears. My spirit walked free, vengeful and blood thirsty. Someone decided to close up the Vault, again, but it made no difference. My reign of terror had just begun.

"They tried to bury their sins, but instead planted the seeds of their doom. A war is coming. I've seen it in my dreams. Fire sweeping over the earth, bodies in the streets, cities turned to dust. Retaliation." Those are the words of my second son, Paxton Fettel. I fused minds with him; gave him orders to find me and kill anyone involved with the Origin Project. My vengeance will be swift, merciless. The U.S. Army got involved, sending in their top secret paranormal response team, code-named F.E.A.R., or First Encounter Assault Recon. In the end, I killed most of them. They burst into clouds of blood, staining the walls, floors, roofs, you get the point. Blood washed over the compound of ATC, and my vengeance would not be sated. Not yet. I was going to kill everyone in my rampage, until ATC no longer existed. However, that was not to be.

I killed my father, who had foolishly decided to set me "free". Is it possible that he knew I was still alive? It doesn't matter. I killed him, sending his corrupt soul to the darkest depths of the Underworld. "It is the way of man to make monsters. And it is the nature of monsters to destroy their makers." My father was right. In imprisoning me, he made a monster, and the monster destroyed her creator. My son, my firstborn, came home. In the end, he saved me. After my convergence with my body, I reached out to him, wanting desperately to hold him in my arms, to free him from his pain. "My baby" I whisper, hands raising, reaching ever closer... a flash of light, something hitting my side, and I fall down. He shot me! He tried to kill me... or was he trying to set me free from this living hell? I reach out to him, blood squirting out of my body like a volcano blowing its top. He stares down at me, and a thought occurs; _I don't know his name_. Truing to reach out to my other son, I find my link with him is broken. Like I'm soon to be, he's dead. For a final time, I fade into a dark void. My existance is at an end.

Falling forever into the darkest depths of the Underworld for my sins. That's what _should_ be happening. My body rises, higher and higher, soaring like an eagle. I see a bright light, and four figures standing outside of a gate which seemed to be made of pure gold. What I assumed to be church music floated through the air, filling me with happiness. I see the figures more closely now. My second born, Paxton, two figures in robes, and... Ryan! As I soar towards Heaven, Paxton and Ryan rush out to greet me. The two figures glance on; one with an unreadable face concealed by a cloak, the other a man with a smile on his face, rosy-red and snow-white robes, with brown hair darker than Ryan's. I recognize him from pictures I saw when I was a little girl. Jesus smiled at me, and with a Heavenly voice said, "Welcome to Heaven, you have been long awaited. Come now, and rest in the house I have prepared for you." With that, the gates of Heaven open wide, and I enter, Paxton and Ryan at my side. I guess I get to rest in peace after all.

**There ya go!! Thanks to Kjolen for the awesome drawing, and thank you all for reading my first F.E.A.R. fanfic! See ya later!**


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